for when your life is falling apart

when your life falls apart
can i fall to pieces beside you?
will we just lay down on the ground
and let the seasons cover us up?
let the fall leaves turn us to mulch
and the winter snow make us invisible.
the weeds will grow over our bodies
from other people's springtime gardens.
and we will live on in the bellies
of sparrows that ate our fruit.
the best flowers will bloom from our chests
in the prettiest colors
and the sweetest flavors.
whole trees will grow from our broken pieces
and they will be the strongest.
so gracefully our limbs would stretch to the heavens
like ballerina hands
reaching out to their partners.
so majestic our trunks would be
like capsules
holding time and rings and beating hearts.
our leaves would be so vibrant
like the spark that lit the fires that burned us up.
people will touch our bark
and they will swear they feel a pulse there.
and no one would ever cut us down.
when we lay on the ground
on what was once soft grass
will you hold my hand?
as our tears flow like rivers
down into our hair
spread out around us
like the petals of a flower,
will you be scared?
when your life falls apart mine will too.
and i'll grow with you from our delicate pieces
into something stronger
but just as beautiful.

Skipping Class

Sometimes
You have to stay in bed all day
And study the face of the person sleeping next to you.
As you watch the sun change the color
Of the room every hour,
You listen to footsteps on floorboards
Of the apartments upstairs
And to the right of you.
They remind you that the world out there is still turning
While in here
The only things turning are your bodies
Under bed covers.
You examine the caterpillars
Crawling on the brow ridges evolution gave him,
Observe how the signs of age are replaced by youth
As he sleeps.
Count the pores,
And the number of hairs
Growing on his chin.
Breathe out,
Breathe in,
Try to synchronize.
Your legs, your arms, your hands
Hold each other.
Try to become one.
Erase the lines.
It's good to skip your morning classes
Sometimes.

To My New Girlfriend

I never saw your handwriting
Before today.
I never even knew
You wrote poetry.
I like the careful curve
Of your "S"
I see beauty there
Like the curve
Of your hip.
And the boxy way
You make your "Y"s
They remind me
Of your perfect teeth.

The letter that
You left me,
It doesn't rhyme.
Not the way most
Love poems do.
You wrote of feeling lost
And seeing opportunities
In tree trunks
When you drive.
I never even knew.

Your poem was beautiful
Like your smile.
And when you said good-bye
It broke my heart.
Tomorrow
I'll bury the pieces with you,
And keep this letter in my chest
Instead.
I'm sorry that you felt this way
Like you couldn't share your poetry
With me.
Your handwriting was beautiful
Like you.

Hope: The Eighth Deadly Sin

I counted the number of times you left when you should have stayed
I kept a tally on my wrist
And each time you came back you had a different face
We all regarded you with hesitation
And wondered at the contents of your chest

Would the blood that ran fresh down my forearm
Be enough to pump your cancerous heart back to health?
I’m bigger now than I was when I was four

Could the three of us fill the void inside your ribcage?
Would we do more this time than we did that day
When the flashing lights took you away while we were sledding?

We perfected the art of knowing when you were about to leave
It’s a skill you’d think you were born with
But I have mastered what others call instinct

Like that time you left on Prom day, riding your motorcycle in the rain
They wouldn’t tell me until after
But in all the pictures my eyes reflect my mother’s pain

The thing about this game is, even when you win, you lose
Each time you left you took pieces of us with you
Tokens of our appreciation that we hoped you’d look back on with affection

Sometimes I felt as if you’d taken my whole heart
I sat on the bathroom floor
Trying to fill the hole with something else

The next time you walk away
I’ll be ready
Maybe it won’t hurt so much when I add another tally to my wrist
And when you’re gone we’ll never say it
But we’ll all hope that we’re missed.